My Sweet Benjamin,

My baby.  My last baby.  Benjamin, "the last boy"...  Technically, I guess that means I could still have a girl, right? I might actually be insane and I would hope that your grandmother would check me into a home, if I seriously talk about having another child.  You ARE my baby and I think you know it.

As I was looking back through your pictures this week, I realized this was the picture I was looking for.  This is my memory of our first two years together.  Not to say that there haven't been many other important memories, but this one, the one of you snuggled up on my chest, is what I choose to remember above all other memories.  This small little nook between my neck and breast was made just for my babies.  It's close to everything comforting in their world and it gives me the most scenic outlook of the beautiful life I live.  By the time you found this special spot, it had been broken in and much loved by your bother and sister like a special blankie or family heirloom passed down from one child to the next. This must have made it all the more special, because you, my baby, have lived here longer than your siblings.    

In the heat of the day, your little feet hardly touch the ground as you blow from one room to another like the force of nature that you are, but in the waking hours of the morning and in the calm tides of the evening your settle back into you nest for a little bit of home. I'm trying to hold on to every bit of it, because I know looming around a season or two is the day that you'll be too big for me to carry.  And then, like Silverstein's tree, I'll have to bend my branches and settle for a cuddle on the sofa.

Happy birthday my sweet Benjamin.  I can't believe that you are two today and there's nothing I can do about it.  I have enjoyed every exhausting second of your life and I would not wish for it any other way. 

I love you,

Mom

June 16, 2011



Day Seven








Days Four thru Six

A little better.  I'm almost certain that my mood is on the upturn.  During the day I'm great.  Lots of energy, happy, not hungry at all.  Then after all my peeps are in bed and the living room god starts luring me in with it's intoxicating glow, and I want meat...and bread...with salt and maybe some chocolate.  I'm trying, I really am and I think when I walk away from this raw business, I'll make some big changes to my diet, but I won't ever be 100% raw.  More on this later.

Guess who's back.  Yeah, who were we kidding?  I have three kids under the age of 6, I NEED coffee. I did discover vanilla flavored coconut milk instead of cream. 

Good Seasons make these spice packets for dressing and all you do is add oil and vinegar.  I think I'm so used to ordering ranch dressing that I've been missing out on a lot of flavor.  This salad is cucumber, tomato, avocado and a garlic salsa dressing.  

Fruit salad: Strawberries, blueberries, bananas and a splash of vanilla coconut milk. 

Day Two and Three

So what happened was...

Day two:  Same as day one for breakfast and lunch, but I had a salad for dinner this time.  The no caffeine did get to me so I broke down and had a coffee.  The conversation in my head involved some correlation between caffeine, enemas and a healthy digestive system.  So chug, chug!

Day three:  Yummy fruit salad, green smoothie and then... dum,dum,dum... BBQ at my parents!  I went prepared with a edamame salad and cantaloupe tossed in coconut milk and mint for dessert.  So what happened was...I ate my salad and fruit, but I had a burger too!  gah.  Tomorrow's another day.  Starting over. 

Raw-r

If you've read even a few posts on this blog, you've figured out that I'm not the steady and consistent type.  I often have way out there ideas and follow them with all gusto I can manage, then I'm done and it fizzles out.  I know this is not a sought out characteristic and in all honestly I try really hard to follow through and be THAT person, but lets just call it the duck that it is - genius!!  Really, who wants to do the same thing for-ev-er??  I just can't waste my time doing stuff that I don't want to anymore and I can't not try new things, because I'm afraid that I won't like it and quit.  I'm sure there's some clever little saying like, "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" but for life experiences instead of love, but I'm already bored with this post so I don't feel like looking it up. 

All that to say, I'm in a rut and going to try something new.  The raw food diet.   Only for two weeks. Surprise!! I think the idea is that eating "live foods" help your body cleanse, heal and a whole bunch of awesome things.  For me, I need a good cleanse - physically, emotionally, motivationally....  My weight loss has hit a plateau, I'm emotionally blah and I'm just in a rut.  Also, I told my friend Emily about two years ago that I would try vegetarianism.  So now that she's trying meat, I thought it only fitting to go the other way.  Wish me luck!

Day One:

I'm doing okay.  Lots of fruit, no coffee, big yummy salad and I tried a green smoothie (yum).  I did go out tonight and struggled with what to order.  I ended up with a Greek salad (cheese is not on the plan) and grilled falafel (cooked food is a no no ) BUT I didn't eat meat!!

The no theme, theme

My poor third baby.  After pirate princess, dinosaur,Nemo, Curious George, superhero and mermaid parties, I guess I'm tapped out.  Benjamin had a low key first birthday, like Allie and Martin, but then all I could come up with for his big boy two year old party was... dirt.  Really there is nothing else this kid likes more than to get dirty.  Well, maybe to get wet.  So, wet and dirty, that's all I've got and it doesn't make for a solid birthday theme.  I know, I know he'll live and really, he DID have an awesome party. 

Bright and colorful, just like my baby.  Thanks Tiffany for another awesome invite.  http://www.miragreetings.com/

Games and things Benjamin loves to do:



WATER: We rented a slip-n-slide from a family friend (Angel's Moonwalks) and it was the best idea for a summer birthday.  EVERYone from the birthday boy to his 63 year old uncle had a blast.



Getting dirty:  With all the shovels and dump trucks the kids had a good'ole dirty time at the sand table.

Balls!!!  We filled up our baby pool with a little bit of water and a ton of balls.



Hitting things!  Fortunatly for his bother and sister, this time it was a pinata.



Things Benjamin loves to eat!

Ben's favorite foods: hot dogs, fruit and chips!  I bought these little fast food baskets and lined them with butcher paper for an easy clean up.

Snow cones!
I bought a little Sunbeam snow cone maker from Target.  Great investment for summer!  I made the syrup with a simple syrup mixture and two koolaid packets. No highfrutose corn syrup here!





Lemonade!! This is so much easier than box drinks and sodas!



I know it's hard to tell, but he just destroyed a piece of watermelon!



In honor of Benjamin loving to be dirty, I made dirt cake in individual dump trucks.  The trucks also served as the party favor.



And messes they made...



And his favorite thing of all...fun time with good friends. 



Thanks kids for helping us celebrate Ben's second birthday!

So I guess we did have a theme after all.  "All things Ben".  Love you baby.

Batman Birthday



Martin LOVES Batman and so we invited a few friends over for hotdogs, cupcakes and some play time in the jump house.  Fun times!  

Thanks again Tiffany  http://www.miragreetings.com/.  Everyone LOVED the invites.

Batman pinata from SanAntonio, thanks to Uncle Jorge and Renzo.  The kids took their candy home in superhero cups for their party favors.

Gotham City chocolate cake with super hero and super villian toppers.  Cake Doctor saves me every time!

I bought some old comic books and made the toppers with all the superheros.

The kids wore their superhero costumes which in retrospect wasn't such a good idea for the bouce house.

Lots of superhero toys!

Holy Birthday Batman!

Wow! What a year. I had to go back and read my letter to you last year, because it seems impossible that one person could have changed so much in one tiny, twelve month year. I can't believe that with every year that passes, I'm continually surprised with how fast you guys grow up.  You'd think that after five years, it wouldn't catch me off guard, but sure enough, twelve months later, here I am writing about how shocked I am that you've grown up so much.  This past year, my writing has all but ceased and I'm trying my damnedest to make time for it.  Unlike my fellow scrapbooking and journaling mom friends, I don't have the patience to freeze time on paper.  This is my record, my tribute to every horrible and wonderful moment I want to capture and remember.  And now that it's been three months since I've started this entry, I'm determined to finish it, because, baby boy, I want to remember our moments.  The moments between three and four that helped me know you better, the moments I smile about later while daydreaming, the moments that hopfully I'll remember and be able to retell many years from now to my future grandchildren.

The day you were born, one of the first decipherable sentences that came out of my mouth was, "Look babe, he's like a little old man." You were so long and skinny, but with the face of a little old man. It was almost like you knew what this whole world was about already and you were annoyed that us young folk were messin' with your rest time. I still see this approach to life dominate your personality. I think for the first three years of your life, you've been trying to tell me who you are, but I just didn't hear you.

Look at that little old man face.

Well baby boy, we hear you, loud and clear.  This past year, you've found your voice. You know exactly who you are and I naively have been trying to teach and mold you to function in this world, when I should have been quietly listening to you tell me who you are and how this world will function with you in it.

Your first sleepover with the Hall girls.

Baby boy, you amazing me.  Your unwillingness to yeild to social standards and people's expectations makes me rethink my actions.  Your determination to follow through with a task once you've commited inspires me.  Your clever humor amuses me and your tendenancy to be selective in who you love but not how much you love favors me.  I love you and everything you are.  Happy birthday Martin James. 

"nana-nana-nana----bad mood"

O"fish"al swimmer certificate



Goofy boy



           

yeah, lots of catching up, but first...