Where does it come from?

Today we had one of those wonderful days that just comes along and surprises you. We walked in the door tonight with a snoring babies and as I was laying my baby boy into his crib I caught a glance of my arm. Is that..? wha? Yup, ketchup! And on the other... ha cheese! Just one of those exhaustingly fun days.

We drove down to the beach and cleaned some of the smog out of our lungs with the sea breeze. After we had our fill of the hot sun, our toes were all sandy and a tummies full of salt water, we took our bucket of seashells and headed out for dinner. The Rainforest Cafe sounded like a good idea in the car while we were singing Surfin' USA in the car, but the one hour wait was a wipe out. Buuuut since it was just one of those great days, instead of fussing about it we went outside to enjoy the salty air and see where the afternoon took us. While we're wandering around and snapping a few pictures, we hear a nice little beat coming from behind us. How fun! A couple from "Hawaii" was about to put on a little song and dance show. Lots of singing and dancing and you wouldn't believe it if I told you, but my two year old got up in front of a big crowd and danced the hula!! Ok so I got it on video, because I knew you wouldn't believe me. Where in the world does a child get that kind of inhibition? I love it. I love seeing life through her eyes. The awe, the fearlessness and joy. Ahh to be young...

THIS is why I wanted to teach. To walk into a room and know with every inch of your being, you are changing some one's life for the better. I am struggling with my tong in the fork-in-the-road of my life right now. I made a choice a long time ago to forgo a financially grand career to be a teacher. I remember the whispers of disappointment around me, but knew it was what I was called to do. I can almost remember all of the reasons and motivating causes I preached to naysayers, but to be honest they have faded in my heart. I chose one way and I started my path strong and determined and then the further I got from the fork, the less pull I felt in my heart. I still try to pinpoint what it is, exactly that has jaded me... politics, old, tired and despairing teachers, paperwork, President Bush... I don't know. When I decided to take a few years off to start my family, I was a little relieved and very scared. I busted my ass teaching and I walked away feeling like it could all be undone in 3 seconds. It's hard to want to continue to bleed yourself into something, when you know in a few weeks, months, years it will be as if you were never there. Never existed. No change. I will NOT teach if my heart isn't in it. Teaching isn't a job like many other that you can just show up to and push your way through it. The kids know and it effects their lives. If you are a teacher and you walk into your classroom everyday burnt out, hopeless, and angry you should quit. The damage being done to those children is insurmountable. All you are doing is teaching our children how to be hopeless and all they are learning is how to be disappointed.
I recently joined Facebook, and I haven't decided if was a good decision or not. I have filled up my friends list with people in my current world on this side of the fence, but I've also run into lots, LOTS of old friends and classmates. Looking at friends who started out on the same road I did and took a different path; a path that led to financial success, status, and glamour almost knocked me out. I'm already dizzy with questions and doubt, the last little push was this mingling of what if's. What if I decided to go into engineering like I planned? What if I went to UT instead of SFA? What if I could have made a bigger impact as a lawyer? What if I made the wrong choice?
Seeing this piece about Sharpstown HS in our local paper makes my heart swell and I can feel the pull again. Ms. Smith IS a teacher. She walks into her classroom everyday and changes lives. I hear hope in her voice, her students' voices and their success has inspired many other kids who most people, teachers included have given up on. I cannot imagine that this woman struggles with the what if's like I do. She has walked into a school full of black and Hispanic children that most people cross the street to avoid. She chose to work at a school that has been in the news for all sorts of bad things and on TEAs oh shit list for a few years running. That my friends is heart and she is my new hero.

So I was pissed

...but look at this face! Yeah I haven't logged on in awhile, because I screwed up my account. I have a cute header and all and can't even put it up. Anyway I took some cute pictures of my baby boy's new haircut, so I'm caving so I can show him off.

Cool Summer Savings

Gas is now $4.oo a freakin' gallon. Now I know compared to families struggling to get to work and school, I have no right to complain, but damn. I have to admit though,since staying at home, I did get caught up in over planning and going out of our way for events. We are still on a budget, and let's be honest I'm never on time, so things like Gymboree and swimming lessons were never an option. But even things like going to new parks and the YMCA are coming to a crying halt.

So now I'm frantically (well maybe not frantically but defiantly desperately), looking for things for us to do. Unfortunately, the stork didn't bring me some of those kids who like to sit and watch endless amounts of television. Nor do I have kids who can play quietly in their rooms, so those doors are closed. I also live ON the sun, so our cabin fever happens in the summer when it gets too hot and dangerous to be outside. So you see, the odds are stacked against me. I had to call my best friend for backup. She lives about 4 hours closer to the sun, so we came up with a few options.

Lazy and poor mom's list of summer activities.

1. Drop ice cubes in children's underwear and watch them try to get it out.
Cools kids off and fun for mom too.
2. Strip babies down and turn on the water hose. Mine like to water the
plants and grass, so it's one less chore for me too.
3. Cut a watermelon into fourths take it outside. If they eat a whole
fourth, then it doubles as lunch.
4. Draw pictures of all the places you wish you could go. Mail them
to the President of Texaco.

Ok so my list isn't very long. If you have more suggestions, please share.

The shoes that make it all better

...and YES they really do!

My quick weight loss program

If we all had to hang out underwear to dry where our neighbors could see them, you could bet that we'd be trying harder to lose weight and fit into smaller underwear.

So I've been doing the diet/exercise/lifestyle change thing for about 3 months now. I feel great. I'm at a bit of a stand still with my weight loss, but I think I've gotten to the point where I'm doing it for more than losing pounds. This past weekend I even spent a whole day shopping for new clothes!!! I'm a size smaller and my boobs can now be contained in a semi-normal size bra. woohoo.

Well today I went outside to hang our clothes on the line. Yes, we still do this, but to my credit it's so damn hot here that I have to save as much money as possible to run the AC. When I got to the underwear, I pinned the first one up and stopped in my tracks.

DAMN is my butt that big???

Surely not.

Well ok, maybe.

NO, it's not!!!

I just need to buy smaller underwear. I've been walking around for the last few weeks with underwear that are probably not serving their purpose anymore. More than you wanted to know about me, huh?I just hung my underpants with one clothespin, so the neighbors wouldn't be horrified if they happened to catch a glimpse.

Refined elegance

Yes my beautiful, aromatic, fancy, shmancy candle. One of the few things I keep in my guest bathroom to give the illusion that I'm still a chic, or maybe classy grown up who could possible entertain a swank little party at her house. ha A thought it would look better with holes in it.

When the cat is away, the mouse will ....

feed the kids sandwiches for dinner, put them to bed early and lie down in her underwear with a glass of wine!!

So I guess you can tell that my husband is out of town. He's on a business trip and I hope he's enjoying his time alone, because when he gets home I'm taking two days off. I'm getting my nails done, going out with a girl friend and maybe some shopping. phffft Yeah, like that'll happen.

I was worried how I'd do with Hubby being gone and the kids missing him. Well I guess I was more worried about how I'd handle not having a break and how much I'd miss him. I'm doing better than I anticipated though. We have had two very normal days of swimming and playing but when 6pm rolls around, my eye starts twitching and then my heart aches a little. I know, cheesy, but I've slept next to this man for the last seven five years. It's lonely being in the bedroom without him. So, I'm keeping busy and I'll work on this bottle of wine tonight, in hopes that I'll fall asleep quickly.