I walk around naked in front of my husband.
I'm not a supermodel and I've had two kids in the last three years, so my body is traumatized, to say the least. I think I'm beautiful. I mean, I know I need to lose weight and sure my body looked better 10 years ago. I'm no fool, but I still think I look beautiful. Why am I so different than millions of women who look into the mirror everyday and hate what they see??? Lord knows that there are a lot more women, who'd rather pluck their wild eyelashes than stand naked in front of a mirror. So why not me?
I've chatted with a few ladies and we worry about our daughters, their self-esteem, body image, confidence and ability to resist peer pressure. I'm terrified. I mean with heels for 3 year olds, skimpy Halloween costumes, and restricting jeans for toddlers, who wouldn't be worried....... and there's that line again. Too strict? too lenient? Do I let my daughter follow the crowd a little? If so, where's the limit?? What am I talking about, there's no way in hell I'd let her wear a trashy Halloween costume or wear heels at three!!!!!!!! Good grief, it seems like maybe there are too many mothers out there worried about peer pressure and if their friends or kids will think ill of them. JUST SAY NO!!! They will survive and be better people for it. We need to teach our children to love their bodies and all the things that their bodies do for them. Teach them to take care of their bodies and nourish them with healthy foods and thoughts. A comment like "I'm ugly" can be just as harmful to you as eating McDonalds.
So back to the point. I've got ups and downs but for the most part, I'm a confident woman and have great self esteem. So how do I make sure that my daughter will too. I don't know?!?! Every time I try and put a strategy into words, I fumble. Try, try again right? So here it goes.
I still have no plan, only a random list of things I know.
My mother told me I was beautiful every single day of my life. She meant it and I believe her. I know it's not as simple as that, but it is. My Dad tells my mother she's beautiful and she is. I remember growing up and watching my mother put lipstick on for my Dad. I remember seeing my Dad sneak a pinch of my Mom's butt, when he thought we weren't looking. I remember my Dad putting his hand on my Mom's bare stomach, where her shiny wrinkles were etched in her skin like badges of honor. I remember my Mother combing my hair every morning, kissing me when she was done and telling me that I was beautiful. Preciosa. Precious.
I remember my Dad taking care of us on my Mom's "Me days", where she would pamper herself. I remember my Dad dressing up and putting cologne on for my Mom. I remember the day I wanted to wear sweatpants to school and my Dad told me NO. He said that school was my job and I needed to be respectful of myself and my teachers by dressing accordingly. "It might not be fair, but people do judge you based on how you look." I know this last one sounds contradictory, but it means to take pride in who you are. If you have all this wonderfulness in you to share, but it's crowed up with trashy clothes, unkempt hair, or a negative self-image, then you are denying yourself and the world of your greatness!