I woke up Monday morning after dancing all night with what felt like death and told my husband I was calling in sick today. The imaginary audience in our sitcom of a life, stood up and belly laughed in unison. SICK DAY!!!! haaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa My husband just looked a little confused, kissed me on the forehead and was out the door. Damn can't a woman die alone in peace. I somehow managed to drag myself back to the sofa, when the door opened. Rays of heavenly light, fell on the head of my six foot, three knight and shining armor. He came back to save me. The angels flanked the doorway as my husband floated into the room on a cloud. Hallelujah.
He called his doctor (yes his because Lord knows that I would never take the time out to find my own doctor much less actually go) and made an appointment for me. A few hours later, I was sitting in the weirdest doctor's office I'd seen. Either that or my fever was so high I was hallucinating. Seriously it was like something out of an 80's movie about the future 2008. The walls were all bare and painted in these bright modern colors that were the furthest thing from warm and comforting. The receptionist desk was more like a fast food chain's ordering counter and I guess it was fitting, because there was a coffee shop IN THE OFFICE. Oh yeah and a shoe store display too! Commercialism at it's best; Get'em when they're too sick to know better. The nurse walked faster than any sick person could keep up with, the examination room was absent of any sign of personalization as well. I was left with my copy of Essence in what looked like a crazy person room to regret even coming to a doctor's office after what had been a really good six year drought.
Just when I thought I couldn't have regretted my decision any more, the doctor who had apparently just left the Mr. Universe competition, enters with his laptop. After being poked and prodded by Mr. Universe I was off with my prescription and hopefully on the road to recovery.
My knight and shining armor had to turn back into a pumpkin and go to work and then I was all alone with death and kids to care for. I somehow managed to muddle through the week without losing anyone, poisoning anyone or running away! woohoo. I did have to take a few shortcuts to be able to keep up this week, so here's a list of how I managed to keep on keepin' on!
Dishes - Didn't use them. Ate out or out of the containers. If I HAD to use a dish I actually hand washed it instead of unloading the dishwasher.
Floors - If I saw a really noticeable spot I cleaned it with the sock on my foot. I also let my two year old "play" with the Swiffer.
Laundry - Wash, dry, tell husband to fold, clothes get too wrinkled, rewash, re-dry.....
Cleaning - Of course I shoved, threw and stuffed things in to hiding places, but another little trick I picked up from a fellow mom. Spray some cleaner near the doors or wax a table with lemon scented cleaner so that if someone comes over the house smells clean!
Cooking - beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep,beep.... hello, I'd like to place an order for pickup.