Friday, July 25, 2008

1950's Housewife Week

This week we had plumbing work done, so we were trapped housebound. Now for those of you who don't have the pleasure of knowing me in person, you must understand that being stuck at home is like... well I don't really know what it's like since I'm never home. Just the thought of it makes me want to pull my eyelashes out.

When I looked around, I realized that I was the only one who was stir crazy; the kids loved playing with .... hold on it's coming.... THEIR toys. What a novel idea. You mean I don't have to buy them new, super elaborate, not to mention expensive toys and run them all around town to playgroups and story time in order to entertain them? Damn!! Now what in the hell was I going to do? Well I decided to rewind the women's lib movement, put on my bra and apron and be a model housewife for the week. Just in case you haven't received the handbook, here's a copy.

Monday - Plumbers show up. I offer them sweet tea and chit chat for a bit. Wash, hang and fold two loads of laundry while the kids play in the yard. Hot breakfast, hot lunch and hot dinner. Stay up after everyone is in bed to prep for recipe club the next day.
Tuesday - Yup you read that right. Recipe club. Every time I tell someone I'm going to the recipe club I feel like I should put on some heels and bust out the jello mold. Anyways, I finish my curry chicken salad, and pack up the kids in the station wagonfor a good 'ole time. Come home and make a nice dinner for hubby.
Wednesday - More laundry on the line, kids left to their own mischief, and tea for the plumbers. Today was my day to make a meal for a mom that just had a baby. You know Moms helping moms. I made chicken tortilla soup and pack it up for a friendly neighbor visit. Come home in time to enjoy dinner with my family.
Thursday - Rained all day. Now in all the movies and books these 1950's housewives sent their kids outside to annoy the childless neighbors. Not ONCE do I remember seeing what they did on rainy days. So I improvised. They fought, cried and tore the house up. I cried, smoked (I couldn't get into character for this one, so I smoked out of their view), and put them in lots of time outs. Left overs for dinner.
Friday - I'm done with the 50's housewife thing. We HAD to get out. I left the water hose out in case the plumbers got thirsty, called my husband and told him we were going out for dinner and dropped the kids off at my mom's!

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